connected to me

Hello Angels! Welcome back to the Cosmic Cafe. It is officially springtime—when day and night are in perfect balance, the birds are chirping, and the flowers are beginning to delight us with their stunning blossoms and blooms. We are in the archetypal season of Aries—an energetic time full of hope and new beginnings.

And in many ways, this is exactly what the season asks of us too: a return to the self in a fresh start, built upon a quiet but powerful Aries question:

Who am I when I don’t ask for permission?

Not who am I when I’m being liked.

Or who am I when everything is smooth and harmonious.

But who am I… when I stop checking for approval?

Most of us don’t even realize how often we are asking for permission or seeking approval. And this doesn’t mean we are literally asking out loud—it’s something that happens internally.

Our thoughts might sound like:

“Is this okay?”

“Will this upset someone?”

“Am I being fair?”

“Should I explain this better?”

And while these questions may seem thoughtful, they come at a cost.

Because every time we pause to run our truth through the lens of other people’s comfort… we begin to edit ourselves.

We soften what didn’t need softening.

We confuse what was already clear.

We stay where we’ve already outgrown.

And over time, we can lose connection with our self altogether.

Aries energy doesn’t ask, “Will this be well received?” or “Will this hurt someone’s feelings?”

Instead, it asks:

“Is this true for me?” or

“What does my body say about this?”

I hope you can see the stark difference between these are two very different ways of moving through life and how one way, the way of trusting self, is healthier than the other.

So why do we then fall into a people-pleasing pattern or mentality?

Well, it’s because owning ourselves fully is risky.

We may fear being seen as mean or difficult, hurting someone we care about or losing our relationships or communities.

And so, we choose to trade our self-trust for belonging and a false sense of peace and harmony.

For you see, true harmony is not sameness.

True harmony is when two completely different notes are played together—each holding their own sound.

It’s not when we silence or distort ourselves to match someone else’s frequency, or succumb to their will.

Now, here is the beautiful part:

When we begin to release the habit of asking for permission, although the peace of our external world may be disrupted, we begin to feel our own inner peace.

And although we may no longer feel safe with those who were benefiting from our own self-abandonment, we begin to feel safe within ourselves.

And from that place, we become softer and more certain, less fueled by anxiety, and more fueled by passion and purpose. We also no longer need to fear closeness—because we now can have boundaries that keep us safe. We also no longer feel the need to perform—because we are no longer seeking approval.

This positive shift is important to note, because sometimes when we begin to honor our Aries nature, it can feel like we are becoming more harsh or uncaring.

But not asking for permission is not about becoming cold, rigid, or rebellious, but rather it is about becoming self-loyal.

It is about saying:

“I care about others… but I will not abandon myself to maintain comfort.” (their comfort and your own comfort)

And this is where the real work begins.

Because there will always be those tempting moments, those small, almost invisible moments, where you feel the pull:

To check.

To adjust.

To explain.

To soften.

To wait.

And those few seconds?

That is where your sovereignty and self-trust are shaped.

Not in journaling.

Not in thinking about who you want to be.

But in real time.

Do you stay with yourself? Or do you leave yourself?

If we’re being honest, most of us have learned to leave ourselves.

Because staying with ourselves usually comes at a hefty cost—a cost many people are not willing to pay.

It’s the cost of being misunderstood, being seen as difficult, creating tension, or being excluded.

And sadly sometimes it can even mean being smeared, attacked or abandoned altogether.

And so we learn to trade our authenticity and self-trust for “peace” and belonging.

Not because we are weak, but because we are relational.

We are wired to care and we are wired to belong.

But Aries season asks us to consider something deeper:

What kind of belonging are you creating if it requires you to continuously leave yourself?

What kind of relationships are you maintaining if they are built on a version of you that is edited?

And what would happen…if you allowed yourself to be fully seen?

This is where things begin to change.

Because when you stop asking for permission, you don’t become someone new.

You simply become less filtered.

This self-trust might look like:

• Not over-explaining your choices to keep others comfortable and approving

• Not softening your truth so it lands better

• Not waiting for validation before acting

• Not checking if something is “reasonable” before honoring your desire

• Not staying in conversations or spaces that feel misaligned

And after years of abandoning yourself this shift internally feels like relief.

Like exhaling after holding your breath for a very long time.

Choosing yourself might also look like:

Being kind to people… but also being no longer available for deeper connection with them.

Sharing your work, your thoughts or your creations without needing anyone to understand or validate them.

Or maybe something as simple as structuring your days in a way that feels nourishing to you—letting your life be steady, soft, and self-led… without needing to justify why it works.

This way of being is not loud or performative.

It is not power designed to dominate others, but rather it is a quiet form of power designed to self-preserve—an unapologetic form of self-trust—one that cannot be easily shaken or exploited.

But let’s be clear:

Although this is an honorable path, it is NOT the easy path.

When your inner world shifts, your outer world always will shift too.

Some people will celebrate your growth and feel inspired by it, whereas others may resist it as it disrupts the roles and patterns they were comfortable with.

So when you feel the urge to explain yourself…

when you question if you’re being too much, too bold, or not enough…

Stay with YOU.

Stay with your truth.

Stay with your clarity.

Stay with yourself… without rushing to repair how others feel.

Because the goal is not to control perception.

The goal is to build a life that YOU are proud of—one that does not require permission to pursue.

So as we move through this season of new beginnings, I invite you to sit with this:

Where in my life am I still quietly asking for permission?

And what would it look like… to take one small step without it?

Just one moment.

Where you choose yourself fully. Test it—and notice how it feels.

We can tolerate being misunderstood.

We can tolerate being unwanted.

But we cannot tolerate abandoning and living without our authentic selves.

That is what Aries asks of us.

It is an unapologetic self-trust and the beginning of a life that is truly your own.

That wraps up Memo #10. Thanks for tuning in. I hope this message helped make your life a little more bright and a little more clear.

Until next time.